Parenting is a joy even with the challenges it throws our way. Parenting starts from the womb, moves to the infant stage, child stage, pre-teens, teenage, young adults, adults. We continue parenting even after they become parents.
A child does
not come with a manual and each child is different. There is no one formula of parenting
that works for all. At best, we can have some foundational values which can be customized
to suit our child and find what will work under what circumstances.
Our style
of parenting depends much upon the sources we refer to. We refer to how our
parents dealt with us, we read up articles, we look at other parents or we have
somebody telling us what worked for them and we copy them, or we may have some elderly
constantly guiding or advising us. Some of us read articles or books on child
psychology. All these are valid and useful sources. But we need to pick and
choose what works for our child. There is no way to measure that what we did
for our child is the best in the world. Or, if it was the right way to do.
Periodically, we need to review our parenting style in our actions to verify
the effectiveness.
One can’t
be too conservative, nor too liberal. We have to strike a balance somewhere in
between. I know, it sounds impossible. But believe me, if we consciously work
on it, it is possible. Drawing an analogy to a rubber band used to tie up our
hair, if we put it too loose, it will slip down. If we put it too tight, it
will cause us a headache. When the band is new, we need to put fewer rounds. As
we continue to use it, it loosens and we need to increase the number of rounds.
Similarly, hugging a child too tightly or keeping too close, will suffocate the
child. At the same time, if we let her go too far away, we may lose her.
Enjoy every
stage of the child. Show concern, but don’t let the anxiety take away the joy
from parenting.
1 comment:
Wow & I love that rubber band analogy.
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