Overparenting is a phenomenon which was widely prevalent from 2000 till about 2015. Overparenting refers to the situation when parents overindulge their children in their demands.
The reason for
this is that these parents have had restricted childhood. Their parents told a “no”
a greater number of times than a “Yes”. Moreover, salary levels, in general,
had increased across board, over what their parents were earning. These two
factors were the main forces behind the overindulgence. The thought process was
“I could not have it as a child. I want my child to have it”. This is without
taking into consideration whether the child is really in need for it. If a
child demands something, these parents made it a point to get him that stuff
the next moment.
Here the
parents need to take a pause and think through whether the child really needs
it or is it just a “want”. It is not the question of affordability, but overindulging.
By saying “no”, the parent is not depriving the child of basic needs. Here, it
is important to distinguish between, “I want” and “I need”.
Overindulgence
was also due to the peer pressure faced by the parents. A child would demand something
which is priced quite high just because his friend boasted about owning it. The
typical overindulging parent thinks, “Oh! If I don’t buy this for my child, he
will be humiliated among his friends. Let me get this for him, so that he is
comfortable among his friends.”
Saying “no”
helps a child to understand that he may not get everything that he demands in
life. He will learn to value and appreciate the things he owns. He will realise
that he has to work hard to achieve certain things in life. Through parental
guidance he can learn to handle peer pressure during his base years. In effect,
he learns a lot of life skills.
It is ok to
say “no’ to your child. By saying “no”, we, as parents are helping him
distinguish between a want and a need. We are training him in life skills.
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