Overparenting is when parents are deeply involved (mostly unnecessarily) in the day-to-day lives of their children. Their objective is to shield their children from discomforts and failure type of situations These parents want to make everything comfortable for their children and do not want their child to endure any kind of “hardship”.
During one
of the workshops, I had conducted for children in my library, a parent was
highly indignant that her child was made to sit on a mat on the floor (even
though there were other kids seated with him). “My child is not used to sitting
on the floor”, she said.
By giving comforts
such as travelling by air-conditioned vehicles, sitting throughout the day in
air-conditioned rooms, not travelling by public vehicles – all these hinder the
children from developing a good “immune” system. They become intolerant to a
less clean environment and are not willing to commute with strangers. In the
process they lose out on enjoying small joys of childhood.
Traveling
by train for 17 hours or more was a sheer joy in childhood days. Reading the
name of the stations, imitating the different vendors, listening to the “trrring”
of the cold-drink seller, trying to use the wash room which is constantly
shaking, making new friends during the journey, buying books/comics at the station
of departure, reading while cuddled up on the top berth – all these are small joys
which are irreplaceable. Instead, we are now travelling by air so that we get a
cleaner and a less noisy environment. We are ready to endure the restricted
space and movement, but we feel dignified.
We have to
let our children go through filth, so that they can come out shining. We have
to let them fall down and get hurt so that they can get up victorious. We have
to let them handle their day-to-day tiffs with their friends so that they can emerge
healthier emotionally. Let them upset their digestive system once in a while,
they will end up having a stronger gut.
Remember that
we are preparing them for life. Life can throw many things at them, which we
cannot foresee. Once we expose them to the real world, we are equipping them to
handle their own situations. We have to play the long game.
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