Parenting

Even before my daughter was born, I would read a lot on child psychology and articles and books on child upbringing. Of course, most of the books were by foreigners, but some articles were by Indians. These have helped a lot in understanding my daughter and trying to be a better parent.

1.       We need to realise that each child is unique, so comparison is an absolute no-no.
2.           We tend to compare our childhood, what we did, what we did not, what we were allowed to do, and not allowed to do, what we wanted, but could not have.. The last one, I realised was the most dangerous one. I have seen parents around me wanting to give their children things and tell everybody that they have done so. This seemed to me more as a “thing to be proud about”, “see I can afford it” types. These are usually counterproductive. We, as parents, would then find it difficult to bring in the values in our children. Comparison with other children’s possessions start, so we start “keeping up with the Joneses”. What a child starts with demanding for something worth Rs 10/- leads to the child demanding something worth 1000 times that, by then it is too late to arrest the demands.
3.          It is not easy in today’s world to be your child’s friend. It works both ways. The balance is very delicate.
4.         Lead with your actions. We cannot tell our child to behave in a particular fashion if we behave in the opposite manner.
5.          Our values and culture form a strong base. If these are imbibed well at early stages, half the battle is won.
6.        Most important, I have realised very recently, we have to teach our children the lessons of life. They have to be able to face the difficulties that come on their path and give them a tough fight.